


Unravelling Fractal Flower

by thesadchicken



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Garak, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 10:33:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5825107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesadchicken/pseuds/thesadchicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of stories in which Garak is genderfluid.<br/>Of course, they all involve Bashir - in one way or another!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unravelling Fractal Flower

**Author's Note:**

> This is my personal headcanon, and I wanted to write stories that explore it. I'm very attached to this version of Garak's character. The idea first occured to me when I noticed how Elim's "chufa" (the little 'spoon' on the top of his head) is colored blue in certain episodes.

_She took my arm; I don’t know how it happened,_

_We took the floor and she said:_

_‘Don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me’_

~

Julian watched closely as Miles poured him another drink.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit rude,” the younger man half-whispered, looking around them self-consciously, “this is our third glass, and we haven’t been here long.”

Miles tapped the top of the bottle on each of their glasses and stared proudly as the liquid swirled around, changing color in a bubbly burst of light. “This is an Aaamazzarite party, yeah?”

Julian nodded, already extending an arm towards the fascinating alien drink.

“And in Aaamazzarite culture,” Miles continued, “it’s rude _not_ to help yourself to anything you like. So drink up!”

Julian didn't wait to be told twice. He held his glass up with a smirk. “For the sake of diplomacy, then.”

Miles nodded and they both downed their drinks in a quick, excited motion. Julian felt the cold liquid burn down his throat, and it tasted like Denebian berries and sugar and fire and something he’d never experienced before–  

“What _is_ this?” he asked, staring disbelievingly at his now empty glass.

Miles was blinking frantically, and only managed to mutter a strangled ‘dunno’. Julian laughed, wiggling two fingers in front of him. “Hey, are you okay?” he teased.

“I think I can feel the station spinning,” Miles said, staring ahead of him blankly.

Julian felt perfectly steady, but he blamed that on his engineered genes. So he fell into his preferred persona, the one who acted like normal people: that meant he should be starting to feel warm and comfortable by now. And frankly, this wasn’t that bad; he was leaning against the bulkhead, staring out the window at the stars, clutching his glass and tapping a finger against it – _this Aaamazzarite music is quite catchy_ …

He cast a side-glance at Captain Sisko and Jadzia: they were still listening to a pale skinned, neatly dressed person at the back of the room, nodding at their every word. He smiled to himself, rather selfishly –at least he didn’t have to chat with any officials. He could stay here all night, and he and Miles could try all sorts of strange and exotic drinks, they just had to pick a bottle from the buffet in front of them, _hmm, how about that thick purple one?_

“Keiko’s here,” Miles exclaimed cheerfully, and purple drinks went down the drain.

Julian followed his friend’s gaze to where Keiko was standing; she had just entered and was hovering near the doors, scanning the room for a friendly face. Miles had said she had been working late and she wouldn’t make it, but she evidently did, and she was going to steal Miles away from Julian. _Can’t blame her, they hardly spend any time together these days_. But drinking alone in a corner didn’t really seem like the best way to spend the evening. Maybe they would invite him to join them?

“Sorry Julian,” Miles shrugged apologetically, then turned and rushed towards his wife, who met him halfway with a brilliant smile.

Oh. There went his evening, and he might as well leave, if he weren’t certain some Aaamazzarite guest would eventually notice the absence of the station’s CMO and take it as an offence. Miles and Keiko were already dancing, paying attention to nothing but the repetitive beat of the music, Jadzia was stuck playing host, and even Quark was busy running around, carrying a tray of drinks. _Oh come on, the whole station’s been invited, and I’m still standing here alone_. He felt himself slump and fall back onto the wall with a sigh. This was going to be a long night.

~

He poured himself another drink. The purple stuff had tasted as awful as it had looked, and then he had tried something translucent that had made his mouth feel numb, but trying out new flavors on his own had quickly gotten tiresome, so he had opted for Saurian brandy.

He had tried to keep his mind focused on something, anything, to avoid the mind-numbing boredom. Three different songs had played, two people had left, four had just arrived, and he had been standing alone for twelve minutes and forty-two seconds. How long could the party last anyway? For a terrifying moment, Julian saw himself staring at his own hands for three or four more hours. But no, everyone had duties, half the people present had to wake up early tomorrow morning, surely they weren’t expected to stay up all night?

 _I’m not drunk enough,_ he realized. The evening would seem considerably nicer if he were healthily inebriated. Not too much, just enough to feel warm and cozy. He grabbed the twisted blue bottle he and Miles had tried earlier and emptied it in his glass. _Bombs away!_

And God, the stuff was toxic. Two glasses of this and he’d be under the table. _Be careful_. He still had duties, and appearing composed and in control was one of them. He took another cautious sip and already felt the warmth spreading through his body. _Much better,_ and soon the stars began shining brighter, the music became hypnotizing, the faded lights mesmerizing, the dancing shadows captivating. Julian squinted just to watch the lights glimmer through his eyelashes, blurring everything. If he tried hard enough, he could forget he was on the station and pretend he was floating in space, rocked by a soft alien song. But then a silhouette started making its way towards him, and even through his lowered eyelashes he recognized it. It moved swiftly across the crowd, its direction clear: it was heading towards him.

He opened his eyes as a flickering beam of light from the spotlights hit the silhouette, revealing its owner, and Julian stared unashamedly. Impeccable burgundy trousers; an embroidered tunic that displayed neck and shoulder ridges; smiling blue eyes under an equally blue chufa, painted with meticulous care… _It’s a ‘she’ day_.

“Good evening, doctor,” that voice, enveloping him – he felt like he could listen to it all night.

“Hello, Garak,” he smiled, but he didn’t move from his comfortable place against the wall; _join me, Garak, maybe?_ No, not yet. Julian thought he could see the Cardassian’s eyes waiting. First things first, then: “what are you doing here?”

Garak beamed at him, ha! Of course she had been waiting for the question. _You do love dancing…_ And this was a very particular kind of dance –one that required words and smiles and gleams in mischievous eyes.

“Captain Sisko insisted that I attend the party,” she said, raising her head in mock arrogance, and the gesture made her hair fall on the sides of her face; she had cut it shorter since their last lunch together…

“Did he?” Julian emphasized, lowering his eyelids. _Keep lying to me, liar…_

“Yes, he told me the Aaamazzarite like to see themselves as the most tolerant and open-minded species of the Quadrant. They requested the presence of the only Cardassian on the station tonight.”

“Sounds like they’re also the most vain and self-important species of the Quadrant,” Julian laughed, bringing his glass up for another sip.

“Perhaps they are,” Garak answered, and silence fell between them, a warm, music-filled silence. Maybe now she’d accept his quiet invitation to lean against the wall beside him, and they could dance like this until the party was over? _What a lovely prospect…_

But Garak reached out and placed her hand carefully on his upper arm, giving him the time to withdraw. Julian stared back at her, questioning, but he didn’t back off. She slid her hand down his arm and over his fingers, which still clasped his glass. _What are you doing?_

“Doctor,” she whispered, and he barely heard her over the music, “let go.”

She pulled the glass out of his hand and placed it back on the buffet table. Julian stood still, uncertain of what she meant. Let go of the glass? That was done, and yet she was still staring at him expectantly. Gawking at him, really, and he had no idea how to react, and his face was getting hot and his heart was pounding in his chest, _oh God, she’s pulling me away from the wall…_

 _Say something, quick_. “Um, you should try some of that–” she tugged at him until his back was no longer touching the wall, “–that Rigelian liquor, it’s actually–” she drew him closer, “–not that bad.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Garak said, and her eyes flickered upwards to meet Julian’s, and he found himself incapable of looking away.

“The music is–,” he stuttered, watching her eyelids droop, _oh God_ , “–is pretty good, too.”

She leaned forward until her mouth was mere inches away from his ear, and Julian froze. “I’m afraid we won’t be able to hear each other over it. It is quite loud, don’t you think?”

Julian nodded, repressing a shiver as her hand slid down to his waist and gently grabbed his hip. Again, she waited, and this time Julian understood the signal: he placed his palm over her shoulder, careful not to press on the ridges. So they were going to dance –a different kind of dance.

She took a step forward and they immediately fell into a light seesaw movement, swaying back and forth on their feet. It wasn’t really dancing, at least not the type Julian was accustomed to, but it felt _right_. It also felt like a curious blend of Cardassian and Human: their discreet motions and half-movements, constantly shying away from the people in the room, contrasted with the bold touch of hands over hips and shoulders. Garak’s hair brushed against Julian’s cheek. She tenderly squeezed his waist, and her other hand slipped into his, guiding him through the dance.

Julian found himself yielding to the temptation of sliding his fingers over Garak’s neck ridges, rolling his thumb over the one he knew was painted blue. It was irresistible, and he loved the way he could feel her pulse throbbing against his palm. He pretended he didn’t hear his friend’s soft sigh, or notice the way her body pressed fully against his, and instead closed his eyes and hummed in appreciation.

Her arm wrapped around him, she pushed his shirt slightly over his hips and her hand began slowly caressing his bare skin, making fireworks explode behind Julian’s closed eyes. _Ohgodohgodohgod_. He leaned into the embrace for a moment, and it felt like every inch of their bodies were touching. He could feel her ridges graze his temple, the side of his jaw, his neck…

But then she pulled back unexpectedly, just enough for their eyes to meet. He gaped at her, and in the dimmed light it seemed like there was nobody there but them. Their breaths were mingling, their bodies were joined from chests to toes, and Julian thought he could live and die in her arms. Garak’s gaze was electric, piercing, penetrating, _are you looking straight into my soul?_

Julian felt so warm, and his face and ears were quickly heating up. He was intoxicated in more than one way, and he wanted to feel like this forever.

~

_She said: ‘Shut up and dance with me’_

_This woman is my destiny, she said:_

_‘Shut up and dance with me’_


End file.
